I was raised in a culture which believed that the best relationship is the one which lasts forever. On top of that, I married a beautiful lady from a strictly catholic family in which this idea was like a law. I really believed that everything can be solved, if both partners work on it together and that all the hardships can only make the couple stronger. I believed that the fact that people nowadays keep changing their partners so frequently has to do with the new habit of “replacing broken things for new ones” instead of trying to fix them. And I also believed that all this is the only way how it is.
And even though there is some truth to these concepts, I was clearly shown that there is far more that is going on and that we need to become aware of in order to stop judging one another.
Naturally our marriage went through many ups and downs for 9 years. Both I and my wife had been going through our own spiritual awakenings and revelations. Our core beliefs started shaking and we had to rediscover what we actually identify with. All this felt very natural to me. As my wife started realizing how much her programming of being a sinful piece of shit that is destined to suffer here on Earth was holding her back, she started reclaiming her own personal power.
I was very happy about that with a small detail – the more powerful she was, the more she felt like she doesn’t actually want to be my “wife” but rather a “friend”. She couldn’t explain why – she just felt it. She loved me but there was this feeling that something is not right that she couldn’t explain and that none of us could understand.
One day, we were presenting Somavedic at the local Meta Expo. I used a small window when there were almost no visitors and out of curiosity I walked along the show to check out the other vendors and psychics. There were lots of card readers, crystal vendors, occasionally somebody who could tap into the akashic records and answer your questions, interpreting what they feel.
But one lady caught my attention as she worked clearly differently than all the others in the room. She went into a trans and suddenly the light beings started speaking directly through her body, making all kinds of strange hand mudras and releasing energy along the way. Her name is Elisabeth Rose and she was the first channel I worked with personally in my life.
I was fascinated. I waited until her session was over and then I asked her. “If I am not aware of any problems, do you think that it would be still worth working with you?” She replied very satisfying answer: “Oh, please don’t tell me anything! I am a channel. The less I know, the better. If you tell me something, my mind could interfere with the things I know. So it is always better if I don’t know anything about you and then the message is clearer.”
She also explained that yes, even people who are spiritually very advanced occasionally unlock a new gift or insight by working through her. So my curiosity took over and I bought my first 15 min session with her.
She asked me about my first name, spoke a short prayer to invoke her trans and suddenly she started channeling various angelic and light beings. About half way through the session, Yeshua, the ascended master who used to be incarnated as Jesus 2000 years ago, suddenly took over and blew my mind …
Long story short, he was very spot on. He was talking about things that nobody could possibly know. My secret desires, my undeveloped talents which I need to work on and also the true nature of my relationship with my wife at this point of time. Some of his most memorable (for me) quotes are:
“You are a public speaker! However, you have just barely begun on this path.”
“Tell them everything you know, as you grow, and they will follow.”
“Your relationship is over! It cannot be healed! Do you understand? You have learnt from each other everything you could and now is time to move on for both of you to keep growing. There is another coming your way. Open your eyes. It is not healthy to stay in a relationship that doesn’t serve both sides.”
“It will not be easy but I will assist you.”
When the session was done, Elizabeth started apologizing that she is just a channel and she didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. But somehow I wasn’t shocked although I was still sort of trying to figure out what actually just happened.
See, usually, the light beings don’t suggest to people this clearly that their relationship is over. Therefore, this was quite unique situation. But Yeshua was apparently comfortable with this direct approach. Only about 1 year later, after many other synchronicities, I finally found out that in my past live ~2000 years ago I was his uncle, Joseph of Arimathea and we were very close. So Yeshua, just like when we were great buddies back then, simply went straight to the point. This was part of our mutual agreement for this lifetime.
I must admit that I left the channeling session with very mixed feelings. I had no doubts whatsoever about the truth of his words. There was no way that Elizabeth could make all those things up and still be so precise. It was all specific to me and it was all true. Especially, the part with my relationship was something what even I didn’t dare to acknowledge. But true nevertheless.
At that time, I was also actively studying work of Drunvalo Melchizedek and through him the first bits of wisdom of another important ascended master – Thoth. When Yeshua pointed out to me which areas of my life I need to re-examine, together with the insights from Thoth it finally all clicked together and I was shown the bigger picture of what was happening both in my life as well as on the global level.
The struggle in my personal relationship was only a trigger to make me see much bigger pattern that is happening on Earth for everyone and is about the speed of evolution. I was clearly shown that what used to take lifetimes to learn centuries ago can be now learned within years, months, or even faster. The evolution is accelerating exponentially every day.
It is difficult for us to realize the speed because we live in it and we have no reference to compare with. But according to Thoth, if you compare the speed of evolution now on Earth with other times or star systems, it is similar as if a newborn child turned into an adult in about 15 seconds.
Sounds insane, right? But let’s look at some data – it took about 12,000 years for a human to develop from discovering fire to riding horses (I count since the fall of Atlantis when we lost our memory and needed to start learning everything all over). Yet just in the last 2 centuries, we evolved from riding horses to flying in spaceships!
Evolution in Relationships
This accelerated growth however doesn’t involve only our skills and technology. It also applies to relationships, love and the way we learn. So what often happens is that people meet, they are meant to be together, yet after a while they learn from each other what they needed and suddenly they feel an urge to move on.
But our culture still holds onto the experience from the past and the significantly slower pace of changes. Our relationships evolve faster than our understanding of them. Our parents keep applying lessons they learned under very different conditions and we tend to do the same to our children who will live under yet another completely different conditions. We need to become flexible and work with the current context, not just what we were taught to do when we were growing up.
This is further “complicated” by our advancing into the Unity Consciousness. Our heart chakras start opening more and more and we begin to realize that we are all one humanity. And the more we experience this unity, the more we feel the need to let go of our unhealthy attachments or addictions to a single person and relax our limits on how many loving relationships we can actually have. We start remembering the beauty and potential of allowing more love from multiple sources (starting from ourselves) to flow into our life. And then when we realize that love is all around us and we open ourselves to it, we suddenly don’t feel the fear of “losing” the only one love we might currently have which was preventing us from opening up to receive more love from others in the first place. Can you see the trap we live in? We allow only one person to love us and then we are terrified of the idea that (s)he would leave us since that would mean we suddenly don’t have any love left. But we are all one and being in a loving state with one another is our true nature.
And as a person who has “memories” from the future, I can tell you that eventually, in a few hundred years from now, we will get to the same stage where the Sassani are, where their entire race is one married family, all in love with one another without any separation.
I do acknowledge that we need to start working on bridging this huge gap step by step. So for now, let’s focus on just opening up to the possibility of loving more than one partner, just like we allow ourselves to love more than one child at a time. Our hearts are ready. Let’s align our minds too.
The Real Freedom
Let me circle back to my own relationship and a specific situation that happened to me. I have realized that I can’t ask my wife to stay with me if she requires for her growth something that I cannot give her. I can’t keep her in my “prison” just because I married her, or because I have become dependent on what she was doing for me, or to appear as a good couple to our family, or to meet any expectations of our society, or … whatever.
We needed to transform our relationship which was based on the old and unhealthy patterns of attachment, dependency and neediness into a new version of a relationship based on a complete equanimity and freedom. Because that’s what an unconditional love is all about – to allow others to have the experience they need even if it doesn’t resonate with my own perspective.
And so we agreed on breaking up, while still living together, supporting each other and taking care of our son until any of us finds a new partner or place to live.
But before our breakup, my wife was in a strong tension because she had an expectation that she needs to follow whatever I do to keep up with me. Yet my way of learning things doesn’t work for her. So the more she tried to catch up with me, the more resistance she experienced until she eventually blew up that she couldn’t do that anymore.
So finally, when I gave her the freedom she now needed, she started exploring her own way of doing things and sky-rocketed into her own masteries. In the end, she became even more sensitive and esoteric person than I am, but she had to find her own unique path. She needed more space to explore the ways she was drawn to and which were crossing my values at that time.
This entire atmosphere relaxed a lot and it resulted into us ending up in a much more balanced relationship than which we had as a couple. Now, our relationship is a well balanced divine to divine partnership/friendship with very few expectations on each other, based on equanimity, while still being responsible for raising our son.
Hard Lesson Learned
So although we humans tend to see the breakup as “losing somebody”, it actually isn’t so. Partner is not a slave. You never own anybody, so you cannot lose anybody, really. And if it feels that way, it only reveals our unhealthy addiction to that person.
My higher self loves to make sure that I really understand the lessons I’m given. So about a year after I broke up with my wife, I was tested once more when I met a beautiful person with whom we felt a very strong connection. Yet after a while, she chose to remain with her current family and I had to respect her decision. Because the connection was much deeper than anything I had experienced before, this set me on a path of depression. However, this time I knew how to work with the emotions better and it helped me reveal even deeper patterns that were holding me back in my relationship with myself.
I also asked my higher self why I can’t be with this person at this time if the connection is so strong. The answer actually made a lot of sense:
“If you had stayed with her, you would have come to a conclusion that the only way you can feel this expansion of your heart is with her. This would have led you to an addiction to her presence. However, this idea is clearly not true. Since your mission is to lead and inspire by example, you need to learn how to expand your heart to everybody and demonstrate what is possible when you approach others from the state of a true unconditional love. She showed you the vibration you need to do that, how it feels to have truly opened heart and your task is to practice remembering this vibration and getting into this loving state of being at any time and with anybody.”
But it hurt nevertheless and the emotions were very intense. As my past self, or in the old paradigm, I might have developed patterns of “not being good enough”, “it is not safe to love”, “women cannot be trusted”, and all kinds of unhealthy ideas which would put me into a victim or blaming mode. And don’t take me wrong, all these thoughts were definitely spinning in my mind. But working with my higher self and the ascended masters allowed me to see clearly the wisdom and power of all these unpreferred situations and emotions. If you can understand them as mirrors which simply show you what else is triggering you and where you give your power away, it can move you dramatically forward, once you start working on it.
So every time, when I had a feeling to say a blaming sentence like
“You did …!”
“You didn’t …!”
“You think that … but it is actually …!”
“You said that …!”
“You don’t see …!”
I quickly realized that what was actually hurting me, was not the person, but my expectations on that person. By having such expectations on others, I by myself place myself on a thin ice. Because then if the person simply chooses to stay or become who she really is rather than what I want her to be, my own expectations may not be met and then I can feel betrayed, disappointed and angry!
But my expectations are fully under my own control while the behavior of others is not. So when I allow others to be who they prefer to be rather than who I prefer them to be, it is very liberating for both sides. They get to do what their heart desires and I don’t experience any pain any more. And then we can grow next to each other in a harmonious and loving relationship without standing in each other’s way.
So when you feel like you have outgrown your current relationship and you really need a change, a high chance exists that you are not a bad person. You probably just got it! 🙂